Disclaimer: Mine. Not too horribly possessive, though. It's sort of like going "That piece of rust in the front yard is MINE"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What is drunkeness? How much of it is actual 'drunk' and how much of it is state of mind?" Jack asked, staring blankly at the roof from his position on a beanbag chair.

"Are you drunk?" said Neil.

"Why do you and Alec always ask that when I start to talk?"

Neil thought about it for a moment. "We have this cherished mental picture of you as a little drunk hobo. Whether or not you actually ever drink has never entered into it."

"I hate you both."

"Love you, wee little hobo."

"As I was saying," Jack sat up and continued. "As I was saying, how much is our drunken behaviour the results of us thinking we're drunk insted of the actual effects of the alcohol itself?"

"So you only act like a giggly little schoolgirl because you think you should?"

"You're not allowed to participate in this discussion anymore."

"But I was getting so much into it!"

"Any case. I want to know the truth. The trick would be to get drunk without realizing you're consuming alcohol."

Neil made a considering noise. "Are you suggesting we spike you drinks?"

"Possibly."

"Ah, the fun date-rape scenario."

The door opened, stopping halfway as it got jammed on some dirty socks. Alec ducked his head around. "Hello hello. I cometh bearing imitation food."

"And lo, Alec was worshipped across the land," said Neil, moving the socks out of the way to let Alec in.

"So what're you two up to?" Alec asked.

Jack collapsed back onto his beanie chair. "Neil wants to wine me, dine me, and date rape me. I don't feel safe here anymore."

Alec made an exaggerated gasp and collected Jack into his arms. "Do not fear! I will protect you from his lechorous ways, my sweet."

"My hero."